ray winstone 1:42 Fri Jan 29
Odes to Essex
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For those of you amongst us that may have been born in gods own county, an interesting insight from West Ham's very own Champagne Socialist....
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000h6pr
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Replies - Newest Posts First ( Show In Chronological Order)
White Pony
9:52 Sun Jan 31
Re: Odes to Essex
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Empty vessels make the loudest noise,
Cackling shrews, one-eyed boys,
All around me is plain and grey,
Take me away
From here.
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Hermit Road
2:43 Sat Jan 30
Re: Odes to Essex
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Plaistow was a good place to start and finish. Once you kept going past the Memorials things got a bit more spicy.
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Mike Oxsaw
12:48 Sat Jan 30
Re: Odes to Essex
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Give me an S!
"S!"
Give me an X!
"X"
What have we got?
"Basildon".
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SurfaceAgentX2Zero
12:47 Sat Jan 30
Re: Odes to Essex
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Hermit,
I shouldn't bother with the other episodes, mate, they are very dull. I managed about 5 mins of episodes 2 and 5 and had to give up.
Used to ride my bike along the Northern Outfall Sewer from Plaistow to the sewage works and then back into Barking via Jenkins Lane and the Town Quay.. A quick trip down River Road past Thames View Estate and on to to Barking Beach and back in time for tea. Runouts with your mates on German Hill. Happy Days!
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Hermit Road
10:14 Sat Jan 30
Re: Odes to Essex
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I was listening to some Billy Bragg yesterday. Decent music, mostly talks shit on politics but don’t we all and he is a decent fella.
The one absolutely unforgivable thing about him though is that he managed to record a song all about the A13 and completely ignored Canning Town.
I will listen to all those episodes though so thanks for the link.
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Sven Roeder
10:06 Sat Jan 30
Re: Odes to Essex
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Ag ag
Was working on an ode (for strings & banjo played on a porch) but struggling to find a rhyme for ORANGE
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PwoperNaughtyButNot
8:12 Sat Jan 30
Re: Odes to Essex
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Night down dukes
Few pints
Few pukes
It’s Easy pulling
Fat minger
Quick finger
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chim chim cha boo
5:17 Sat Jan 30
Re: Odes to Essex
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Anyway, our Kentish friends all know what 'duke of Kent' is in Cockney rhyming slang.
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chim chim cha boo
5:16 Sat Jan 30
Re: Odes to Essex
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I'll have you know that Defs cock doesn't taste anything like marzipan.
Dried coriander, garam masala and of course the heady scent of cumin.
er...allegedly.
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Alfs
5:02 Sat Jan 30
Re: Odes to Essex
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Essex; West Ham fans, hot dog vans
Sluts with knickers around their knees
Doing anything that will please that handsome and charming
Not to mention disarming
Def Jam. The Hammers Fan.
The quirky Indian man
Who wears a turban
And a cock that tastes of marzipan.
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gank
4:49 Sat Jan 30
Re: Odes to Essex
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...And as a final note,I am humbled by your allusion to my poetic soap box being shared by the ilk of Shakespeare and Byron, although I feel Keith Chegwin has no seat at this table. God bless his soul.
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gank
4:44 Sat Jan 30
Re: Odes to Essex
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I would also, with the gift of foresight, have inserted an apostrophe before "cos". Alas, I am wont to type as I speak.
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gank
4:42 Sat Jan 30
Re: Odes to Essex
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Had I only known that the two subsequent responses were to be from WHO's own laureate and then the most poetically-accomplished post ever seen on this website, I'd have given more time and thought to the composition and in particular, the iambics. However, since I am already hoisted upon this petard, I shall reiterate:
ESSEX IS DOG SHIT
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westhammerer
4:20 Sat Jan 30
Re: Odes to Essex
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I too,
Alfie,
gaze in wonder
at Ganks stanza.
Off we go he says, metaphorically on the M25 but we know this is really a voyage to Hades/Eldorado/Neverneverland/Nirvana.
'Back to beautiful Kent', of course this is Kent as the Garden of England and the Garden of Eden before the Fall.
'An exit too soon' alludes perfectly to the fall of Adam and Eve, too soon they rushed to the forbidden fruit that is the sliproad.
'Saw a sign' - ah, here we leave the Old Testament for the New. Welcome to Jerusalem / Essex, its all the same when you are living in eschatological / allegorical times. Christs cross is the sign. The Bible as the highway code for atheists and nondrivers.
Ganks narrator rejects this - he turns right around - and this marks out the genius of the poem. We expect the same but he gives us difference. Or, to put it another way, we expect difference, but he delivers the same.
And the sheer linguistic delight of his shortening of because to cos! Ah, this is simply the lineage Gank works in, you can see the echo of Shakespeare, Milton, Byron, Ayers, Chegwin, et al.
And then the finale! I dont feel worthy to comment but simply must.
The CAPS of DOG SHIT.
How audacious! How modernist! How postmodernist! This is open warfare on decency and taste and the bourgeoisie. It is a sign for rebellion! What a slap in the face to preconceived notions of good taste, poetry, fine art, fine wine, and women and song. And a call to socialism and the overthrow of capital. It is all here in the CAPS of DOG SHIT.
I, for one, am with you Gank. We have their poetry. First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin.
We have the CAPS of DOG SHIT forever on our side and in ou soul.
Liberty. Equality. Fraternity.
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Alfie
3:38 Sat Jan 30
Re: Odes to Essex
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I dont mind saying - ive had a little tear up at those words from Gankers.
The delicacy of the stanza.
The sheer fuck offness of the poetics
. If loving another purely through their words is possible - then my god sir - I wourd summon satan before the lord jesu and lay my life at his feet just to bow my head at your altar.
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gank
3:18 Sat Jan 30
Re: Odes to Essex
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On the M25, back to beautiful Kent
An exit too soon, off that sliproad I went
Saw a sign, "Welcome to Essex" on it.
So I turned right around, cos that place is DOG SHIT.
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Alfie
3:02 Sat Jan 30
Re: Odes to Essex
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Tina
Up the back of the demountables
The rough coving against your mandibles
I really liked you but the disgust on your face
Took me aback - put me off my grift.
Sorry if I didnt say much
I was captured - tractor beamed
With my cue fingers in your pocket.
Sorry if i was clumsy but
Neither of us knew what to do
I got straight to the 8 ball.
Dont think less of me.
The memory is less than happy for me too.
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arsene york-hunt
2:34 Sat Jan 30
Re: Odes to Essex
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A young girl from Basildon town,
In public would pull her drawers down
For a little cash,
She'd show you her gash,
And blow jobs were just a half crown
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Dandy Lyon
1:16 Sat Jan 30
Re: Odes to Essex
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Roses are red
Essex girls are Orange
When they open their mouth
They sound like a door hinge
Dandy Lyon 2021
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Dandy Lyon
1:16 Sat Jan 30
Re: Odes to Essex
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Roses are red
Essex girls are Orange
When they open their mouth
They sound like a door hinge
Dandy Lyon 2021
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Haz
8:48 Fri Jan 29
Re: Odes to Essex
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Had a love affair with Nina
In the back of my cortina
A seasoned-up hyena
Could not have been more obscener
She took me to the cleaners
And other misdemeanours
But I got right up between her
Rum and her Ribena
Oh golly, oh gosh
Come and lie on the couch
With a nice bit of posh
From Burnham-on-Crouch
My given name is Dickie
I come from Billericay
And I ain't a slouch
So, you ask Joyce and Vicky
About Billericay Dickie
I ain't an effing thicky
You ask Joyce and Vicky
I'm doing very well
Billericay Dickie by Ian Dury and the Blockheads
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